Poo Poo Platter

My life in a nutshell...just had to clean mouse poop off of my pretty, pretty crystal, Easter platter.  Seriously.

Mystery Stain

Mommy, there's wetness on my bed.  It's like...in the shape of a circle.  Smells like pee.  But I didn't did it...can I have a poptart for breakfast?  (Genny, age 4.)

I Burned My Tongue

I burned my tongue on gravy.  But it's GRAVY, and somehow that makes it all okay.

Doggy Care 101 (An Unexpected Conversation)

Mommy?  On Bella's tummy...are those boobs or ticks??
WHAT????  Oh.  Those are boobs, honey.
Oh, good.  I thought she went in the woods and got a whole bunch of ticks.  (5second pause...)  Why does she have so many boobs, mommy???
That's so she can feed all of her puppies, sweetie.
Oh.  God sure did make Bella special, mommy.
He sure did, baby girl.

Woops

Mommy...Caylin jumped on my foot on the trampoline.  I think it's broken.
No it's not.
Mommy, look at the bruise!!!
That's dirt.
(1 day later...) Mommy, my foot hurts.
No it doesn't.
(2 days later...) Mrs. Zaremski?  Your daughter's x-ray shows a break to her growth plate.  She'll need to be seen by ortho.
Oh.  Woops.

An Irish Cook And Pizza

I hate when pizza goes from almost done to awwww, shit.

Prankster Cows

The expiration date on my half and half is April 1, 2011.  Is this an April Fool's Day joke?  Somehow, somewhere on a dairy farm, two cows are high fiving (hooving?) and giggling together.  I'm sure of it.

(It's sad, but my brain really does think like this.  Really.)